la ritournelle
by mirajens
Summary: If I let you in, please don't break anything. —Bolin, and the women who weave in and out of his heart


**Disclaimer:** Legend Of Korra belongs to Michael Dante DiMartino, Bryan Konietzko

**Notes:** When LOK ends my life will end tfw

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><p><strong>la ritournelle<strong>

by _mirajens_

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He is in love, he believes, and it feels lovely. He buys her flowers and cupcakes and spends what little money he has left on treating her to noodles. He feels like a fool, ready to bend backwards should she ask him to, or lay down his life at her feet. Whichever came first.

But she does not want him. **Korra** only has eyes for Mako, and this, Bolin understands. Mako is the one everyone preferred so it was nothing new. Bolin doesn't resent Mako for it, and he doesn't resent Korra for feeling the way she does. But it still hurt. Months pass, but the pain doesn't.

He sees Korra with his brother, and there is a dull sting behind his ribs. He sees the way they hold hands and exchange glances and lock lips and there are confusing stirrings of jealousy in his gut. He's told himself countless of times that he has gotten over Korra, and that he's happy she's happy with Mako, but every single time he repeats that to himself, it sounds like a lie.

Bolin won't admit it, but he looks for Korra in every girl that he meets.

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><p>He meets <strong>Eska<strong>, and he thinks he's in love with what little of Korra he finds in her.

Eska: dark skin, dark hair and tough everything. Outside her gothic garb, and when she doesn't open her mouth, Bolin can pretend. He can pretend that the girl who has put an engagement choker around his neck is the same girl who doesn't want him.

But Eska wears her clothes with that purple wing around her eyes and opens her mouth. Doing so shatters Bolin's delusions and he's brokenhearted all over again. He finds flaws in Eska, and he can't help but compare her to Korra. Eska is cold like the ice she creates, and Korra is sunshine. Eska is mean and scary. Eska is demanding. Eska is bossy. Eska is a warzone. Eska is not Korra.

So Bolin leaves.

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><p><strong>Jinora<strong> is something else.

She's younger than him, but infinitely more mature than he can ever hope to be. Her tolerance for bullshit is low, and in that quality of hers, Bolin remembers Mako.

Jinora is smart and innocent. Jinora reads to him boring scrolls of Air Nomad history and some romance novels she takes from her mother's shelves. She is impatient with him, because while Bolin sees Mako in Jinora, Jinora sees Meelo in Bolin. They have fights about it that end in Bolin relenting because he's been trained all his life to believe he was wrong.

And just like the air she bends, she leaves gently and silently so he doesn't even know he's all lonely again.

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><p><strong>Asami<strong> is a friend.

She is the girl who doesn't confuse Bolin. Asami has always been and only will be a friend to him, and he's thankful this is clear to both of them.

Asami is the perfect woman: tall, pretty, rich and kind. She's the type of girl Bolin used to dream about as a boy. She is beautiful with her unerring grace and quiet dignity. She is forbearing with him, in the way no one was before. She doesn't laugh when he trips, or scold him when he makes mistakes. She is only ever supportive of him, and it makes Bolin's heart swell.

She was the big sister he's always been looking for, because there were days Mako wasn't enough.

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><p><strong>Opal<strong> is his salvation from a life of loneliness.

He meets her in the stirrings of chaos, and he thinks its love at first sight. But is it really? Countless times he has fallen flat on his face chasing after a girl that blinds him with what little affection she shows him. So now he isn't sure. But in the night, he aches for her and he get notions of a long life with her and god_damn_ he would follow her to the ends of the earth.

He feel like he could move mountains for her, or write his love in the stars. With her, he forgets. He forgets those painful pangs that come with missing Korra. He forgets the other girls, and he forgets that he doesn't deserve anyone as bright and lovely as her. He forgets that more often than not, it is he who gets left behind by the people with legs that ache to take them to great heights and new worlds. But Opal is here. She is here to stay.

Somehow, he has found home in the arms of this brave girl, this big-hearted girl.

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><p><strong>AN<strong>: I am so panicked rn I AM NOT READY FOR LOK TO END I NEED MORE TIME


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